The effects on children and families

As experienced Divorce Lawyers Guildford we are fully aware that each and every divorce is different. The effects on each individual involved can vary greatly, even on a day to day basis. Whilst you all come to terms with your new lives and circumstances life can seem like a roller coaster, with a mixture of good and bad days, rest assured this is completely normal.

Each person will be going through their own issues and experiences and will have their own way to handle things. At the early stages there will be many mixed emotions experienced, ranging from relief that something is finally being resolved, through to extreme anger and despair at the loss of a presumed future. Obviously not everyone will experience all of these emotions, but it is important to acknowledge that the divorce will affect all involved on many different levels.

It is an unfortunate statistic in today’s society that not every marriage will have the ‘happy ever after’ ending and will end in a divorce. Each couple will go about dealing with the divorce in a different way. For some couples the marriage will have come to a natural end and they will be able to resolve all the finer details amicably and with little animosity. For others it may take years to finalise all the legal and financial implications of a divorce, with ongoing animosity and ‘tit for tat’ behaviour. Whatever the situation, divorces can be harsh and unpleasant and here at Gregorian Emerson Family Law Solicitors we are experts in providing you with the best possible advice to enable you to achieve the best possible outcome for your personal situation.

People going through a divorce, including any children involved, can be quite vulnerable and may make some hasty decisions without giving any rational thought to them. They will need support and guidance to make sure they are not doing anything they may regret later. There is plenty of help out there for people who are finding the stress and emotional side of divorce difficult and sometimes they will find it more useful to speak to someone detached from their situation to discuss their thoughts and feelings with.

As Divorce Solicitors Guildford we know that divorce can be tricky and have a long lasting effect on children and can leave them experiencing insecurity, low self esteem and anxiety. They can also go through extreme behavioural changes too, with school attendance and performance greatly affected. They may also experience low grades and can become either more aggressive, or more passive. It is important to make sure they do not feel guilty about the divorce though and that you keep routines as normal as possible to help them and alleviate unnecessary stress. Some children may be concerned about the changes involved with the divorce, things like changing schools, having to make new friends, seeing less of one parent than they’d like and also just the general adjustments they will have to make to accommodate the new life they are now part of.

Not all children will feel comfortable speaking about their feelings with you and may need outside help to process their emotions and come to terms with the ramifications of the divorce. You can try to engage your children in easy, light conversations and listen to them rather than speaking ‘at’ them. They will need to feel loved through this and not guilty of the situation. And they will need to feel security and stability too. You are their parents and you know and love them the best, so talk to them and see where they may need help. Sometimes just going out somewhere familiar, or playing a familiar game can open up a possibly difficult conversation. Let your children know you are there for them to talk to if needed.

You also need to take time for yourself too, after all you are important! Make sure that you surround yourself with people you love and who love you. Don’t hide away, keep friends close and use them when you need support.   Don’t make yourself feel guilty for anything that has happened, it will all be OK in the end.  

As expert Divorce Solicitors Guildford we have a wealth of experience in this area and will help you throughout the process. We will always treat you as an individual and give you the very best advice we possibly can.

Contact our Divorce Solicitors Guildford and Cobham, Surrey and Central London

Based in Guildford and Cobham, Surrey and Central London, we can help you. If you have a family dispute that needs resolving we are here to help and look forward to your call.

Please call us on 01483 826 470